Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.
Don't be sacked by shingles!
I wish that were a joke, but instead, it's a line from the PSA below:
Yep, that's something that actually airs on TV. The YouTube video is dated from September, but I saw it for the first time during this past Sunday Night Football, not once, but twice!
As a Steelers fan, I always get a kick out of Terry Bradshaw appearances playing up to his quirky charm. But this straight-up weirded me out. I know shingles is a serious thing. I've talked to people who've had shingles, and they don't wish it on their worst enemy. That said, Terry Bradshaw describing his red blisters made me throw up in my mouth a little bit. If you want me to take the threat of shingles seriously, you're going to have to do better than "If you had chicken pox... mm hmm... we all remember chicken pox... well that shingles virus is already inside of you... and it ain't pretty when it comes out!"
To be fair, at least Terry is being honest with me about the risk of shingles, which is more than I can say about Full House and it's chicken pox episode, in which Uncle Jessie claimed he had the chicken pox as a kid, only to get it again from Stephanie. Meanwhile, Joey used the logic that since he never had chicken pox, he was magically immune, thus it was reasonable for him to be around Stephanie. If they wanted to be real with us, we should have seen them both writhing in pain from boils instead of putting together this cute little jingle (cut to the 1:38 mark):
Impish or Admirable?
This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help. This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable.
Impish - Indianapolis Colts. .What do you get when you take an AFC team that's won enough games to clinch a soft division, but all their losses are against elite teams, put them in a situation where their playoff rank doesn't improve with a win nor decline with a loss, and match them against a team that can clinch a division title after 5 years of being the poster-children for mediocrity? A 42-7 mollywhomping.
Fantasy Watch
Unless you do Draft Kings or are in a weird fantasy league that counts week 17, your fantasy season is likely over. Mine ended 3 weeks ago, so I'm going to take a few moments to re-cap the litany of teams I had this season. There's no reason for you to care about this, so I won't be offended if you stop reading now.
Still there?
Awesome, let's do this!
Still there?
Awesome, let's do this!
Flutie Flakes, RoughRiders Reality League (ESPN): 8-5, lost first round of the playoffs. This was the league I cared about the most, as it's the only one I paid to join. It's also the first time I did an auction draft (for those of you not familiar, every participant has to be at the draft in person, and starting with a fictitious $200, you bid on all the players). I was pretty happy with my strategy, as I set a draft board with a budget, got everyone on my board, and still had $4 left (although, apparently you're not supposed to do that). The best bargain was Andrew luck, as I got him for about $30 (again, if you're not familiar, 1st-2nd round talent usually goes for $40-$50). The steal of the draft was Steve Smith, as he was my last pick at $4, and nobody bid against me (which is why I had $4, I didn't think he'd go without a fight). I was pleased with the balance of talent throughout the season, and the highlight was having the best record and most points scored after week 10. Unfortunately, tight end was my weak link, as Vernon Davis forgot how to play football. The team faltered the last 3 weeks of the regular season, falling to the 5th seed, losing the opening round game by a point gained on a meaningless 30 yard toss to Roddy White in garbage time of the Green Bay-Atlanta Monday night game. Sigh.
Tears of a Clowney, Wait for it....... (Yahoo!): 8-6, missed playoffs. Another draft first - I stepped into the 21st century and did the entire draft (standard snake format) on my phone. I thought I did well, but Yahoo! was ridiculously harsh in it's draft evaluation (yes, I got offended by a computer). Peyton Manning was my most productive pick - unfortunately, he decided to become human after his 509th career TD pass. Running back was an area of inconsistency, as Giovanni Bernard and Reggie Bush couldn't stay healthy. Denard Robinson was the steal of free-agency, getting me double digit points 3 weeks in a row after being acquired, and I was able to plug him into the RB, WR and Flex spots. I'm not sure what the commissioner was thinking, but we only had 4 playoff spots, so our regular season ended when most other leagues were starting their playoffs. I controlled my own destiny holding the 4th and final playoff spot going into week 14, but I lost the finale and the playoff spot. I can't say I'm not at least a little irritated at the playoff format, as I would have made it in any other league.
Cowher Power, Backyard Football 11 (Yahoo!): 5-8, lost first round of the playoffs. I had to autodraft on this one, as I couldn't make the scheduled draft. I was sure to rank as many players as the there were draft slots, and I was pleasantly surprised at the results. Running backs: Marshawn Lynch, Matt Forte, Alfred Morris and Darren Sproles. I had the coin toss decision at QB between Tom Brady and Tony Romo. Not only are these picks I would have made if present, I actually think I would have done worse if I was in there making decisions. Then, another first - I lost the first 7 games of the season. I started 0-7. Believe me, I was trying. I just made all the wrong guesses, as I had the difference in points on my bench in 6 of those losses. But then, a miracle - I won 4 of the last 5 and grabbed the last playoff spot! I even changed the team name to Bad News Bears, because it was just like the movie. But then, the momentum deflated and I lost round one.
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