Tuesday Morning QB, Week 17

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.

 The Grand Finale

This is it folks, my mad experiment with a weekly football post has come to an end!  The Full Court Press will return to the variety pack of subjects you all know and love (or at least know).  It's been fun writing regularly on a subject I'm passionate about, but a it's been a beating as well in trying to keep up with my self-imposed Tuesday morning deadline.  This week's edition of the Tuesday Morning QB will be a preview of the post-season, as I gaze into my crystal ball to predict the outcome of the playoffs, let's take a look:

Wild Card

Panthers vs. Cardinals: Before Carson Palmer went down (and even Drew Stanton, to an extent) this was the best team in football.  The Panthers, on the other hand, were the least-weakest team in the weakest division in football.  Expect an ugly game with a low score as Arizona's defense should be good enough to keep Carolina from kicking the most field goals of the two teams.

Steelers vs. Ravens: Saturday's night cap will be almost as ugly in a rubber match between division foes.  The Steelers are playing better ball late in the year, and I'm a Steelers fan, so I'm calling for Pittsburgh to stay alive for at least one more week.

Bengals vs. Colts:  I'm honestly shocked the Bengals managed to squeak into the playoffs.  Indianapolis has disappointed at times throughout the year, but they have a much stronger resume.  The Colts blanked the Bengals when these teams met in week 7, and while I wouldn't expect another shut-out, I also wouldn't expect Cincinnati to have learned their lesson.

Cowboys vs. Lions: While I wouldn't expect Dallas to step-up in the playoffs, I also didn't expect them to have a perfect December, or an 8-game winning streak en route to a plus-.500 season.  Since Ndamukong Suh won't be around to step on Tony Romo's back, expect the 'Boys to cruise to the next round.

Divisional Round (hypothetical match-ups)

Steelers vs. Bronocs: On paper, this is a game the Broncos should win handily.  But momentum is everything in the playoffs, and in this case, the advantage goes to Pittsburgh.  Look for an upset in Denver.

Patriots vs. Colts: One week after duplicating a win in one regular season match-up, the Colts will turn around and repeat a loss in another.  The Patriots have been playing far too well to lose to an inconsistent dome team at home.

Packers vs. Cowboys: The Cowboys revival season stops in Lambeau.  There's simply no way this team is strong enough to beat Aaron Rodgers at home in January.

Seahawks vs. Cardinals: They say it's hard to beat the same team 3 times in one season.  True as that may be, it's a heck of a lot easier to do that when said team has more QB's on IR than the active roster.  The 'Hawks will get to defend their NCF crown at home.

Conference Championships (even more hypothetical match-ups)

Patriots vs. Steelers: This hurts, as I love my Steelers, but absolutely hate the Pats.  However, Pittsburgh is 0 for their last 2 in AFC Championship showdowns with New England.  As much as I'd love for that streak to end, it ain't happening.

Seahawks vs. Packers: This game will prove just how meaningless the regular season opener is, a game that was dominated by the Seahwaks this season.  I know the Seahawks are playing like defending Super Bowl champions, but Aaron Rodgers has been playing like an MVP since that Thursday night game that seems like forever ago.  The Packers will punch a ticket to Arizona.

Super Bowl (it's probably OK to stop reading at this point, or at least stop taking this seriously)

Patriots vs. Packers: In yet another regular season re-match, look for a memorable showdown between two elite quarterbacks in Rodgers and Tom Brady.  The Packers won narrowly in a game in which they had home-field advantage, but I don't think the neutral field will hurt them this time around.  While speculation of a New England demise after a week 4 blowout to the Chiefs might have been a little overblown and premature, I think there was an ounce of truth in there that the Pats aren't as potent as they once were.  Aaron Rodgers cements his place as the best QB in football, and Brady hopefully joins Peyton Manning in the "can't win the big one" dog house (come on, 0 for his last 3 in a "what have you done for me lately league?").

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below. For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 16

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.

Don't be sacked by shingles!

I wish that were a joke, but instead, it's a line from the PSA below:

Yep, that's something that actually airs on TV.  The YouTube video is dated from September, but I saw it for the first time during this past Sunday Night Football, not once, but twice!

As a Steelers fan, I always get a kick out of Terry Bradshaw appearances playing up to his quirky charm.  But this straight-up weirded me out.  I know shingles is a serious thing.  I've talked to people who've had shingles, and they don't wish it on their worst enemy.  That said, Terry Bradshaw describing his red blisters made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.  If you want me to take the threat of shingles seriously, you're going to have to do better than "If you had chicken pox... mm hmm... we all remember chicken pox... well that shingles virus is already inside of you... and it ain't pretty when it comes out!"

To be fair, at least Terry is being honest with me about the risk of shingles, which is more than I can say about Full House and it's chicken pox episode, in which Uncle Jessie claimed he had the chicken pox as a kid, only to get it again from Stephanie.  Meanwhile, Joey used the logic that since he never had chicken pox, he was magically immune, thus it was reasonable for him to be around Stephanie.  If they wanted to be real with us, we should have seen them both writhing in pain from boils instead of putting together this cute little jingle (cut to the 1:38 mark):

Impish or Admirable?

This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help. This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable.

Impish - Indianapolis Colts.  .What do you get when you take an AFC team that's won enough games to clinch a soft division, but all their losses are against elite teams, put them in a situation where their playoff rank doesn't improve with a win nor decline with a loss, and match them against a team that can clinch a division title after 5 years of being the poster-children for mediocrity?  A 42-7 mollywhomping.

 Impish - Baltimore Ravens.  Unlike the aforementioned DColts, Baltimore had something to play for, but apparently didn't get the memo.  Joe Flacco had 50 pass attempts, but less than 200 passing yards?  When the Ravens finally came to life, Arian Foster had to remind them what the score was.

Admirable - Miami Dolphins.  This team won't make the playoffs, but they won the game on a blocked punt safety, and that's pretty freakin' awesome!  Good on you Dolphins, good on you!

 Admirable - San Diego Chargers.  I'm a little disappointed that I went to bed at half-time.  But I'm tremendously happy they didn't let San Francisco run away with a blow-out win.  They're clinging to the last playoff spot in the AFC, and if they get in, Phillip Rivers is not a QB anyone wants to face in the first round.

Fantasy Watch

Unless you do Draft Kings or are in a weird fantasy league that counts week 17, your fantasy season is likely over.  Mine ended 3 weeks ago, so I'm going to take a few moments to re-cap the litany of teams I had this season.  There's no reason for you to care about this, so I won't be offended if you stop reading now.

Still there?

Awesome, let's do this!

Flutie Flakes, RoughRiders Reality League (ESPN): 8-5, lost first round of the playoffs.  This was the league I cared about the most, as it's the only one I paid to join.  It's also the first time I did an auction draft (for those of you not familiar, every participant has to be at the draft in person, and starting with a fictitious $200, you bid on all the players).  I was pretty happy with my strategy, as I set a draft board with a budget, got everyone on my board, and still had $4 left (although, apparently you're not supposed to do that).  The best bargain was Andrew luck, as I got him for about $30 (again, if you're not familiar, 1st-2nd round talent usually goes for $40-$50).  The steal of the draft was Steve Smith, as he was my last pick at $4, and nobody bid against me (which is why I had $4, I didn't think he'd go without a fight).  I was pleased with the balance of talent throughout the season, and the highlight was having the best record and most points scored after week 10.  Unfortunately, tight end was my weak link, as Vernon Davis forgot how to play football.  The team faltered the last 3 weeks of the regular season, falling to the 5th seed, losing the opening round game by a point gained on a meaningless 30 yard toss to Roddy White in garbage time of the Green Bay-Atlanta Monday night game.  Sigh.

Tears of a Clowney, Wait for it....... (Yahoo!): 8-6, missed playoffs.  Another draft first - I stepped into the 21st century and did the entire draft (standard snake format) on my phone.  I thought I did well, but Yahoo! was ridiculously harsh in it's draft evaluation (yes, I got offended by a computer).  Peyton Manning was my most productive pick - unfortunately, he decided to become human after his 509th career TD pass.  Running back was an area of inconsistency, as Giovanni Bernard and Reggie Bush couldn't stay healthy.  Denard Robinson was the steal of free-agency, getting me double digit points 3 weeks in a row after being acquired, and I was able to plug him into the RB, WR and Flex spots.  I'm not sure what the commissioner was thinking, but we only had 4 playoff spots, so our regular season ended when most other leagues were starting their playoffs.  I controlled my own destiny holding the 4th and final playoff spot going into week 14, but I lost the finale and the playoff spot.  I can't say I'm not at least a little irritated at the playoff format, as I would have made it in any other league.

Cowher Power, Backyard Football 11 (Yahoo!): 5-8, lost first round of the playoffs.  I had to autodraft on this one, as I couldn't make the scheduled draft.  I was sure to rank as many players as the there were draft slots, and I was pleasantly surprised at the results.  Running backs: Marshawn Lynch, Matt Forte, Alfred Morris and Darren Sproles.  I had the coin toss decision at QB between Tom Brady and Tony Romo.  Not only are these picks I would have made if present, I actually think I would have done worse if I was in there making decisions.  Then, another first - I lost the first 7 games of the season.  I started 0-7.  Believe me, I was trying.  I just made all the wrong guesses, as I had the difference in points on my bench in 6 of those losses.  But then, a miracle - I won 4 of the last 5 and grabbed the last playoff spot!  I even changed the team name to Bad News Bears, because it was just like the movie. But then, the momentum deflated and I lost round one.  

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below. For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 15

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.

Johnny (College) Football

Don't act so surprised.  I told you this was going to happen.  Johnny Football's coronation into the NFL was an utter disaster.  And perhaps even more dismayed about this than the Dawg Pound and Aggie Nation combined are the national media.  Talking heads at all the major sports networks have been salivating for weeks about the possibility of Manziel starting, and when he was finally announced the starter for this past week's game, they could not contain their excitement.  Just look at how the TV coverage map changed in light of the news.  Even after the embarrassing defeat, I think some outlets were in denial.  I flipped over to Fox Sports 1 after Cincinnati's 30-0 victory over the Browns, and look what I found on the scrolling score/stat line:

I'm sure they meant to type 2 Int., but maybe they were hoping we wouldn't notice that it was mathematically impossible to throw 2 TD's and finish with 0 points.

Impish or Admirable?

This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help. This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable.

 

Impish - Philadelphia Eagles.  I think it's safe to say there weren't any Eagles fans offering Mark Sanchez their cheese fries at Pat's/Geno's after Sunday's disappointing loss to the Dallas Cowboys.  Philadelphia is fighting for a playoff spot, and they have lost to 4 teams that are currently in the playoffs.  A loss to the Giants or hapless Washington would be disastrous.




 

Admirable - Dallas Cowboys.  Sticking with the Sunday night game, this week's admirable goes to the Cowboys, simply because of this:

 

 

Fantasy Watch

A look at players worth having on your fantasy football roster, who needs to be cut, and who has deceptive stats.

Like - Drew Brees, New Orleans Saints QB.  While many fantasy owners have been disappointed with his overall output, Breees put up big numbers on Monday to help propel the Saints into first place in the underwhelming NFC South.  Able to control their own destiny, I wouldn't bet against the Saints in the next two weeks, so expect another big game this weekend.  

Dislike - Reggie Wayne, Indianapolis WR.  While showing some flashes of brilliance this season, Reggie has not been the same WR this season after returning from a knee injury and is now reportedly considering retirement after this season.  The numbers have been pedestrian over the last few weeks, so if you're sorting out your WR3 or flex spot for championship weekend, feel free to take Wayne out of the mix.
 

Pyrite - Andy Dalton, Cincinnati Bengals QB.  Don't do it.  I know he's had 2 strong outings in a row, but if you're still alive, you're playing for either 1st or 3rd place this week, so you need to stick with the guys who got you there.  I had Dalton on my bench 2 weeks ago with Andrew Luck starting (which has been the case all year).  Dalton scored 5 more points than Luck, and I lost by 1.  Do I regret that decision?  No.  Hindsight is always 20/20, and on any other week, Luck would have been the academic choice.  If you have a QB that's been struggling as of late, such as Manning or Rodgers, just remember - those guys have hiccups, but always get bounce back.  Dalton needs to win in the next 2 weeks, and he has a knack for choking on the big stage.

 

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below. For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 14

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.

Bandwagon Family

I know this isn't exactly news, as the "Vikings, Bengals, Eagles, Steelers, Cowboys Family"
commercial for NFL Shop.com has been airing for a few months now, but with Christmas approaching, we're seeing it a lot more on Sundays, and I'm getting more and more irritated.  Take a look.

This is the most irrational line of thinking I've ever witnessed.  And the sad part of this is, there are actually people who use this model for picking teams.  It's one thing to move somewhere, go to a game for the local team and enjoy it for what it is... as long as they're not playing your team.  If you have kids, and they go off to different colleges, then yes, you can spread your allegiances around on Saturday afternoons... just remember your Alma Mater.

But these aren't college teams, and this fictional family changes like the wind for the stupidest things.  I went to school in Philadelphia, and I was not charmed into being an Eagles fan.  The opposite happened - after being around the most obnoxious fans in football for four years, I loathed the Eagles by the time I  graduated.   I was there when they reached the Super Bowl, and unlike some of my peers at the time, I was not cheering for a Philly win just so I could "experience a championship parade." On the contrary, one of the most satisfying moments of my life was getting on the subway after the game and seeing full-grown men covered in green, drunk, depressed and quiet.

The commercial said one of the daughters met Emmitt Smith and became a Cowboys fan.  I moved to the Dallas area 5 years ago, I've seen Michael Irvin and Barry Switzer in person, and I hate the Cowboys even more.  Being a fan is not something that should automatically change with your circumstance or surroundings.  Fanhood is something internal, a part of you.  If you're a Raiders fan, then cheer for the Raiders.  If you grew up a Buffalo fan but move to Green Bay, then you still cheer for the Bills.  Please, I'm begging you, let's cut back on this, "I live in Detroit, so I like the Lions, but I had a layover at Reagan airport one time, so I cheer for the Redskins (oops, I mean Washington football team), but I like the beach, so I want Miami to win, but I have Angry Birds on my phone, and the red one reminds me of the Arizona Cardinals logo, so I cheer for them too...."

Impish or Admirable?

This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help. This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable.

Impish - San Francisco 49ers.  If you ever wanted an example of mailing it in, look no further than the Bay area.  Any time there are rumors of your coach getting traded, that's a bad thing... nobody trades coaches anymore, especially to the cross-town rival!  The offense simply can't do anything right - Frank Gore is a perennial 1,000 yard back, and they don't run the ball.  Vernon Davis is ghost.  That's not a metaphor, I actually believe he's a ghost that floats and can slip through walls like Casper.  And the league has finally caught up to Colin Kaepernick.  He's completely useless now.  On paper, there is still a very realistic chance this team can make the playoffs... but they won't.

Admirable - Pittsburgh Steelers.  The opening piece about the NFL Shop commercial really inspired me, and after 2 "impish" labels already this season, I don't know how many opportunities I'll have left.  Sunday is an example of why I can't give up on the Steelers just yet.  Roethlisberger is as sharp as he's ever been.  Le'Veon Bell is arguably the best dual-threat running back in the game.  Antonio Brown is the best receiver in the league not named Calvin Johnson.  Even the much-maligned O-line has significantly improved.  It's just been a very long and gradual improvement, so whenever they give up a sack, everyone immediately over-reacts.  But they're better.  The defense is a big play liability, but when healthy, they can keep the team in a game. They're apparently vulnerable to sub-.500 teams, but if they can make the playoffs, that shouldn't be an issue (unless they play the NFC South champ in the Super Bowl).

Fantasy Watch

A look at players worth having on your fantasy football roster, who needs to be cut, and who has deceptive stats.

Like - Jordy Nelson, Green Bay Packers WR.  Based on Monday night's game, the only reason this doesn't go to Julio Jones is because of his hip injury.  But Jordy Nelson has put up yet another 20-plus point performance, giving him 5 for the season.  This isn't earth-shattering news, or even news for that matter.  I didn't realize Nelson has never played in the Pro Bowl, and that will change this season (unless Green Bay punches their ticket to Arizona), so this is just a matter of giving props where props are due.  

Dislike - Any Kansas City Chiefs WR.  Alex Smith threw a touchdown pass on Sunday.  It was caught by Jamaal Charles, a running back, but it's nothing new for running backs to double as a useful pass-catching option.  What's interesting here is who didn't catch it - any of the Chiefs wide receivers.  The Chiefs are the only team in the league without a TD pass caught by a wide receiver.  That's right, all of Smith's TD passes have been to tight ends, running backs, or water boys.  My sincerest apologies if you drafted Dwayne Bowe early in your draft.

Pyrite - Johnny Manziel, Cleveland Browns QB.  Named the starter for this week's match-up against the Bengals, Johnny Football fever will only rise exponentially by week's end.  But he's never started a game in this league, his tools are very flawed, and Cleveland is throwing him in the midst of a playoff race against a division foe looking for revenge.  With fantasy playoffs underway, if your team is still alive, then you must have got there with a more reliable QB.  Now is not the time to experiment.

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below. For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 13

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.

I warned you about this last week.  I'm a day late, and very abbreviated.  That's what happens when you use your Thanksgiving vacation to travel across the country.  I don't regret it though - it was a memorable trip, and my wife and I had a blast!  You might say I was thankful for it.  So, in the spirit of the Thanksgiving holiday that delayed this report, I thought I would use this Tuesday Morning QB to list everything I was thankful for in week 13 of the NFL:

• I'm thankful Dallas lost.  It's not just because I hate Dallas, as I'm not particularly fond of the Eagles either.  As a Dunkin Donuts (DD) Perks member in the Dallas/Fort Worth (DFW) area, I get a free coffee from DD as part of the "Cowboys win, You Win" promo.  After a Dallas win, the coupon is usually loaded to my phone the following day.  The coupon is also only valid at DFW DDs.  However, when Dallas won in week 12, I did not get the coupon.  I was also not in the DFW area at the time, and the GPS on my phone was on due to my travels.  Dunkin Donuts knows where I am at all times!  Had Dallas won on Thanksgiving, I would have been denied free coffee twice in the same week, and I can't have the Cowboys winning if I'm not getting something in return.  More importantly, forget government surveillance, DD is watching....
• I'm thankful the Jets lost.  To be fair, I have nothing against the Jets and usually cheer for them, but let's face it - the NFL is more interesting when the Jets are either really good, or really awful.  Right now they're the latter, and wouldn't you know it, they're making headlines! This is no time for the team on Broadway to climb their way to mediocrity.
• I'm thankful Johnny Football got pancaked in his own end zone in the drive following his touchdown run.  After scoring, the entitled brat made his infamous "money" sign, so it was nice to see some grown men knock him back down to reality.  The buzz in Cleveland is that Manziel will be the new starter.  I'm sure we'll see some highlight reel plays in the near future, but I'm also sure we'll see even more humbling moments for Johnny Football in the long run.
• I'm thankful that after returning a blocked punt for a touchdown for the first time since 1986, the Minnesota Vikings didn't wait another 28 years to do it again.
• I'm thankful I started Keenan Allen on my fantasy team.  I picked him up several weeks ago, as he fell to the waiver wire due to a poor start to the season.  I was hesitant to start him, but I took a gamble last week, and it paid off with a 25-point effort!  I usually don't want to rush to irrational conclusions, but I think it's safe to say Allen is back. After only posting one 100-yard game and 1 touchdown through the first 11 weeks, he has back-to-back 100 yard games with 3 TDs in that stretch.
• I'm really thankful I started DeAndre Hopkins in 2 of my leagues.  Early in the season, he had a "boom or bust" label with Andre Johnson in the picture, yet he kept posting bigger numbers than Johnson.  After a 35-point outburst on Sunday, I think it's safe to say there's a new top WR in Houston. 
• I'm thankful Justin Bieber is hanging out with the Patriots.  I don't know why the Steelers let him in their locker room a few weeks ago, but it made my stomach turn, as he's the polar opposite of the team's blue-collar persona.  The Pats, on the other hand, are a much more natural fit for the Biebs, as they're basically a collection of 52 frat-tastic dude bros.  I'm also pretty sure Bieber is the reason the Steelers lost the game he attended, so I'm hoping the same jinx rubs off on the New England.

I realize football is inconsequential, so if you want to see a list of more meaningful things I'm thankful for, click here.

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below. For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.