Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 4

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.


Anger Management

Earlier this week, The Dallas Cowboys announced that they would bench former #6 overall draft pick Morris Claiborne after a dismal week 3 performance and an otherwise disappointing season thus far.  Caliborne acted like any mature adult would: he packed his bags and stormed out of the Cowboys practice facility.  While he returned later in the week and eventually suited up for Sunday's game against the Saints, he managed to end his season with a torn patellar tendon.  Since construction is underway on the Cowboys new headquarters and training facility in Frisco, TX, we hope that they have enough in the budget to add a day care wing.

After just a few months into retirement, James Harrison signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers again this past week in an effort to fill at least one hole in their slew of injured defenders.  The pragmatic in me doesn't have high hopes, but nostalgic Dave is bubbling with excitement.  He wasn't much help in an embarrassing loss to Tampa Bay on Sunday.  At this point, I'll consider the move a success if in a rematch against Cleveland in a few weeks, Harrison administers a high hit to Johnny Manziel, prompting Johnny Football to flip him off, neither player gets fined by the NFL because they claim they don't have video of either account,  the media flips out, and Roger Goodell holds a press conference in which he says the NFL needs to "get it's house in order" about 215 times.

Impish or Admirable?

This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help.  This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable 


Impish - Oakland Raiders.  Kind of unfair, but we have to.  Geeze, this team is awful. And old.  I feel like all the Raiders off-season moves were based on notes from 36 straight hours of playing Madden 08.  They can't run, they can't throw, and according to one of their own defensive backs, they suck.  And they've now fired Dennis Allen.  It even took me two days to get their stupid logo to format properly in this post.


 Impish - Washington Redskins.  Careful what you ask for Redskins fans.  Since the end of last season, sports talk show callers, column writers and the like in the DC area have been calling for Kirk Cousins to start at QB.  With RG3 going down with an ankle injury 3 weeks ago, they got just that.  And after an impressive performance 2 weeks ago in a shootout loss to the Eagles, he proceeded to turn the ball over 5 times against the Giants on Thursday.  This team actually won a game 3 weeks ago, but right now it seems like 3 years ago.



 Admirable - San Diego Chargers.  Who would have thought after their week one loss to the Cardinals that this team would win 3 in a row, including a victory over the defending Super Bowl champs.  Their running backs keep getting injured, but they keep finding ways to win.  Through the 1/4 mark of the season, Phillip Rivers might be the league MVP.  Let's keep an eye out for their week 8 divisional showdown with the Broncos. 


 Admirable - Detroit Lions.  Limited Calvin Johnson?  No problem.  Megatron has been quiet the last two weeks, but the Lions still managed to win and get to the 3-1 mark.  The keys have been solid defense and Matthew Stafford spreading the ball around to his other weapons. At this point, they are not only in the driver's seat of the NFC North, but the Bears, Packers and Vikings are very far back in the rear view mirror. 




Fantasy Watch

A look at players worth having on your fantasy football roster, who needs to be cut, and who has deceptive stats.


Like - Martellus Bennett, Chicago Bears TE.   When the autodraft nabbed him in one of my leagues, I was hesitant to start him.  To be fair, would you start a guy who raps about how much he loves Cap' n Crunch?  OK, the video's awesome, but the guy still had a mediocre track record before this season.  With 4 touchdowns through the first 3 games, followed by 134 yards receiving on Sunday, he's putting up monster numbers.  What's even more encouraging for Bennett owners is that Cutler is clearly becoming more comfortable with him, so he'll continue to see high targets for the foreseeable future. 


Dislike - New Orleans Saints, Defense.  Last week I bragged about how I was right about something, so it's only fair that I admit miss.  I took the New Orleans defense in 2 of my 3 leagues. In the context of those moments, they were a sensible pick- this is a Rob Ryan-led defense that finished in the top 5 last season, picked up ball hawk Jarius Byrd, and extended the contract of Junior Galette. Unfortunately for me (and more importantly, the Saints), that has not translated into anything remotely productive this season.  Their inability to tackle on Sunday night was painfully evident as DeMarco Murray ran through their front seven like they were bowling pins.  And just like stinky worn bowling shoes, I will be returning the Saints defense to the shoe rental counter, also known as the waiver wire.

Pyrite - CJ Spiller, Buffalo Bills RB.  Upon first glance, this guy seems like a great flex option with speed and good hands.  He's averaging 4 yds/carry, and his career average is 5.  So why so cold?  He's only found the end zone once this season, and that was on a reception.  Although he's averaging 4 yds/carry, he's also only averaging 13 carries/game.  Couple that with the fact that he's sharing the backfield with a Fred Jackson who seems to be drinking from the same fountain of youth as Frank Gore, he's just not going to get enough touches to put up big points each week.  He's only rushed for 1,000 yards once in his career - and that was 2 years ago.  Either use with caution or see if you can package him in a trade.

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below.  For last week's Tuesday Morning QBclick here.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Tuesday Morning QB, Week 3

Tuesday Morning QB is weekly feature on The Full Court Press, reacting to the past week’s happenings in NFL Football.


How 'bout them Cowboys?

This week's news was mostly a spill-over from last week's big news.  I've already shared my thoughts on that.  Also, Roger Goodell had a press conference.

On a lighter note, I was reminded of my inner struggle between my love for Dunkin Donuts (DD) and their sponsorship of the Dallas Cowboys.  With their win over the Tennessee Titans last week, I got a "Cowboys Win, You Win" notification on my phone via the DD app.  Anyone with the DD app and enrolled in their perks reward program receives a free medium coffee the day after a Cowboys victory.  I can't stand the Cowboys, but this makes their victories a little more palatable (literally).  After beating the St. Louis Rams on Sunday, I've enjoyed a free pumpkin coffee for the second straight Monday.  I'd be OK with a 9-7 season.


Impish or Admirable?

This is a recap of teams that are either looking good, or need help.  This is not a playoff projection. I call it impish or admirable.  


Impish - Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  This one was obvious.  Maybe even unfair.  However, NFL teams should not be giving up 56 points in a game.  They spent all of their draft picks and most of their off-season free agent signings on offensive players.  Didn't really pay off thus far.  And can we stop acting like Josh McCown was going to be the savior of the franchise?  All the pre-season reports I read could not stop clamoring about what a great pick-up McCown was and how he'd be the perfect fit to lead this team out of their current rut.  The man is a career back-up, and while he filled in exceptionally for Jay Cutler with the Bears last season, I think all the NFL talking heads ignored his previous 10 seasons.  Lovie Smith is a great coach, and it's a shame to see him in this mess right now.  I hope he gets the resources, and more importantly the time he needs to steer this ship right (pun intended).


Impish - Green Bay Packers.  Aaron Rodgers, what happened? Too many State Farm commercials? Week 1, I get it - defending Super Bowl Champs, top-ranked defense, shaking off pre-season rust, blah, blah, blah.  Then, you scare us with a slow start against the Jets, but it looked like you had your mojo back by the end of the game. Sorry, but Sunday's dud against the Lions is unacceptable.  Also, Eddie Lacy is this team's running back.



Impish - Denver Broncos.  What? The 2-1 Broncos who forced OT against the defending Super Bowl champs?  Look, they accomplished half their objective of proving that February's curb-stomping was a fluke by at least keeping it close - but they still lost.  Just after the 2-minute mark, Phil Sims started the whole "win or lose, they accomplished a lot today" speech.  The only time you hear that is in college football when some doormat team nearly upsets a ranked team.  In other words, that's not flattering if you're the Denver Broncos.  What's more concerning is that they forgot to show up to the 2nd half in their first two games, making them fortunate to get away with a win either time.  So, until you can string together 4 good quarters of football, I deem you impish, Denver Broncos!




Admirable - Philadelphia Eagles.  We eagerly anticipated Chip Kelly's fast-tempo offense in the NFL.  Now with a year under his belt, a healthy Jeremy Maclin, and the trade for Darren Sproles, we're starting to see that potential realized.  Their defense could still use a little work, but right now, they can beat you in a shoot-out, and that makes them dangerous.  Now if Kelly could just get rid of that stupid fight song...



Admirable - Arizona Cardinals.  Don't look now, but the Cardinals are perched atop the NFC West with a 3-0 record. This team quietly put together one of the better defenses in the league last season, and despite losing Carlos Dansby to free agency, Darnell Dockett to injury, and Daryl Washington to suspension, they got even better.  On offense, they have a litany of young talent led by Michael Floyd, Andre Ellington and John Brown.  And talk about clutch - they've outscored the opposition 30-0 in the fourth quarter this season. Some may have concerns about the QB situation - how long will Carson Palmer be out, and even when he's healthy, is Drew Stanton better suited to lead the team?  My answer would be whoever can get Larry Fitzgerald the ball more.  Despite age and injuries, he's still the best player on this team.   Palmer had no chemistry with him in pre-season and week 1. Stanton looked to favor him in week 2, but apparently changed his mind last week.  If Rod Rutherford (now probably a bagger at your local grocery) could break the University of Pittsburgh's school record of TD passes in a season (formerly held by Dan Marino) when throwing to Larry Fitzgerald, then an NFL QB should be able to get him more than 10 receptions through 3 games.  This team will only get better if Larry gets the ball more.


Fantasy Watch

A look at players worth having on your fantasy football roster, who needs to be cut, and who has deceptive stats.


Like - Steve Smith Sr, Baltimore Ravens WR.  I try not to gloat, but I like it when I'm right.  I was a little surprised when Yahoo!, ESPN and NFL.com fantasy forecasters had him ranked really low among WR's... like, not even a top 50 WR.  I understand he's getting old.  Yes, his numbers dropped last season.  But he's still got plenty of gas in the tank.  Everyone had Torrey Smith pegged as the number 1 receiver on the depth chart in Baltimore, which doesn't make much sense.  He's a feast or famine type of player - a number 1 WR is someone you can count on every week.  Torrey is the better athlete, but it didn't take Joe Flacco long to realize Steve is the better route runner and has more reliable hands, evidenced by his team-leading 32 targets through three games.  I got him in two of my leagues: mid-round in a snake draft (which my Yahoo! draft report card mocked me for), and my final roster spot for $4 (no competing bids) in an auction draft.  He has paid huge dividends!  He might slow down by season's end, but not next week as he faces his old team, the Carolina Panthers.  Considering Smith said there would be "blood and guts on the field" for this game as soon as Baltimore signed him, you can expect a big fantasy output in week 4.  


Dislike - Tom Brady, New England Patriots QB.  Looks like Brady has reverted to Tom Brady circa 2001-2006, when he managed games and won ugly.  If you're a Pats fan, I think you can still count on him to find a way to win games.  But there are no clutch points in fantasy football.  What it boils down to is that outside Julian Edelman and Rob Gronkowski, he just doesn't have the juicy targets he's grown accustomed to since the almost-perfect 2007 season.  If he's on your team, you might want to use him as a bench QB, or try to trade him to that one guy in your league that hasn't watched much football since 2010 and still thinks Brady's the reigning NFL MVP.
  

Pyrite - Devin Hester, Atlanta Falcons WR.  First of all, congratulations on breaking the NFL's all-time return TD record, Devin.  To be clear, from a real football strategy, his return abilities significantly enhance anyone's special teams, and the Falcons are fortunate to have landed him.  However, from a fantasy standpoint, this guy is not reliable from week-to-week.  For years, the Chicago Bears tried to get him more touches to get the most out of his game-breaking speed.  But as a receiver, he can't run the routes.  As a runner, he can't get past the linebackers.  "Wait a minute," you might say, "He had 5 receptions for 99 yards, week one!  He ran a reverse 20 yards for a TD on Thursday!"  True.  And what did he do week 2?  1 reception, 2 yards.  And sadly, I think that's what you'll get from him most weeks.  His value is in the return game, and most fantasy leagues only reward you if your position player returns a kick for a touchdown - and that doesn't happen every week.  Unless you're in one of those weird leagues that reward return yardage, he's a boom or bust starter that will likely give you more busts than booms.  If you're buying into the idea that Atlanta cracked the code on how to make him useful on offense, there's safer bets you can place on other position players.  

Questions, comments, smart remarks? Log in to your Gmail account and leave feedback below.  For last week's Tuesday Morning QB, click here.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Tuesday Morning QB, Weeks 1 & 2

So when I started this whole blog thing, my intent was to rotate topics around theology, funnies and sports.  The first two I've been pretty consistent with, the latter, not so much.  I started the blog in March, while one of my biggest passions, college basketball, reached it's climax, and I had a pretty thorough review on the best post-season in sports.  After a few pithy sports posts in the spring, it was a quiet summer.  Part of it was apathy, but there also just wasn't much to talk about.  I work for a baseball team, so the last thing I want to do is come home and write about baseball.  Yeah, there was the World Cup, but I know nothing about professional soccer, and like most Americans, I only care to watch once every four years (if you disagree with that, you're either a liar or in the national minority).

But I've ingested a lot of football the last few weeks.  So much so, I'm confident I can blog on it once a week for the next 18 weeks or so.  Yes, I realize, I already missed week one, but I just got the idea two days ago, so cut me a break.  I realize the whole Tuesday Morning QB  thing might sound a little cliche, but aren't all weekly football re-caps cliche?



Every Tuesday, my plan is to post a few quick knee-jerk observations about the NFL (this week will be little verbose as I take time to explain format).  This won't focus on college football.  Don't get me wrong, I like watching college football, but I take it in as an appetizer for Sunday afternoons.

If you enjoyed any of my previous, non-sports blog posts: 1.) What's wrong with you?  2.) Thank You;  3.) Don't worry, I'll still slip in some theology & humor between Tuesday Morning QB posts.

So without any further adieu....

What's New?


Every week, I'll give a little reaction to the biggest league stories of the week.  Some will be quieter than others.  This week, however, is already making me regret starting this project now.

Ray Ray Rice.  There's not much I can add to what has already been said about this.  All I will say is that I'm honestly praying for Ray and Janay Rice.  This is a young couple that has been married for less than a year.  For all the turmoil, they still have presumably more than half their lives ahead of them.  They both need counseling - Ray for his anger issues, Janay to cope with the emotional trauma.  There's also clearly some deeper issues in their relationship, so if they truly want to preserve it, marriage counseling is needed as well.  Why do I say all this?  Because I'm a believer in hope.  Ray will have to face some severe consequences for his actions.  Janay has every right to leave him.  But what if they stopped fighting each other, stopped fighting the media, and started fighting for their marriage?  What if they started fighting for their daughter, too young to even know what's going on right now?  What if ten years from now, she could look up at her parents and see a patient, gentle father who exercises loving self-control, and a proud, confident mother who has inner peace?

Peterson Inactive, Now Active.  This situation is still developing/unfolding, but the above sentiments on Rice sum up my feelings on this issue as well.  It is clear that Peterson has admitted going too far in correcting his children.  I'm not a father, so I can't relate.  I certainly don't know what it's like to not have full custody of your kid (or be the child in that scenario), so it wouldn't be fair for me to try to act like I have all the answers in this situation.  I think it's safe to say though, that injuring a defenseless child, regardless of intent, is inexcusable.  Like Rice, there will be consequences to suffer.  At this point, I can only pray that Peterson will accept those consequences and that this situation will motivate him to run with fatherhood with the same passion he runs with the football on Sundays.

Impish or Admirable?


This is nothing new.  Some columns call this hot and cold, contenders and pretenders, etc.  We'll call this impish or admirable.  I'll basically pick a couple of teams each week who I think look good (admirable) or awful (impish).  Please keep in mind this is a snapshot of the respective weeks.  In other words, don't be surprised if a team I label impish one week is admirable 4 weeks later (or vice versa).  Teams change courses all season long.  Number of teams included will vary, depending on how I'm feeling.


Impish - Pittsburgh Steelers. This is embarrassing as a Steelers fan, but right now, it's the truth.  Although the team is only 1-1, the more alarming issue is that if we scored them by quarters played this season, they're 2-6.  For a team trying to break a 2-year streak of 8-8, that's not a good sign.  There are actually many bright spots on offense, but the unit is clearly still trying to gel.  Defensively, their young D-Line needs to grow up in a hurry.  Justin Forsett ran for 56 yards against them on Thursday.  Justin Forsett shouldn't be able to gain 56 yards walking around the Baltimore mall let alone against an NFL defense.



Impish - Kansas City Chiefs. After roaring to a 9-0 start last season, this team has won 2 out of it's last 10 including playoffs.  Pundits will argue that they "hung in there" against Denver, how they "controlled the clock" in the 2nd half, and had a "chance to tie" at the goal line in the closing seconds.  Last time I checked, wins aren't awarded for time of possession.  They lost their first two games, and stunk in the process.  I also couldn't get over Jim Nance and Phil Sims drooling over Alex Smith for his "running around the field to keep the play alive" and "great decision-making in the second half."  Again, these are not the statistics Kansas City signed him to an extension for in the offseason.  If this team continues to pick up more injuries than 1st downs, they'll be lucky to crack 8-8. 


Admirable - Cincinnati Bengals.  I say this with a seat belt, because this seems like deja vu.  Cincy seems to have the same narrative the last few years - great start, hangs on to win the division, lose in first round of playoffs.  But so far, they've done everything asked of them - Andy Dalton has been spreading the ball around effectively (even with an injured AJ Green), Jeremy Hill and Giovanni Bernard have figured out how to each each put up big numbers while sharing carries, and the defense is lights out.  I know I'm not supposed to trust them because they're the Bengals, but until they mess up, I have to give them the benefit of the doubt.


Admirable - Carolina Panthers.  It doesn't matter if it's Derek Anderson or Cam Newton under center, this team is moving the ball well on offense.  No Steve Smith? No problem.  Let me introduce you to a rejuvenated Greg Olsen, Jericho Cotchery, Jason Avant, and early offensive rookie of the year candidate, Kelvin Benjamin.  And we don't hear much about their defense outside Luke Kuechly - but this unit currently ranks in the top 5 in yards/game and points/game.  That's a recipe for playoff success!

Fantasy Watch


I have a problem - I'm addicted to fantasy football.  I'm currently in 3 leagues.  To be fair, I don't seek them out, I just can't say no when invited to a league.  Sometimes I only have one league if I only get one invite, but I guess I was popular this year.  

I don't have clever names for this, and this is already a cookie-cutter piece, so we'll just do like and dislike to keep it simple.  These are players you either want to look into acquiring via the waiver wire or trade, or players you should avoid or drop if they're on your roster.  I'll also do pyrite, more commonly known as fool's gold.  These are players who may not necessarily be good or bad, just use caution with them on your roster.  Like impish or admirable, number of players may vary, and since this post is already waaaayyy longer than I'd like, we'll keep this week's list short:

Like - Terrance West, Cleveland Browns RB.  I promise I'm not on a band wagon - this guy was on my very late round radar in each draft I was in, and now I'm kicking myself that he's unavailable.  While everyone was focused on Johnny Football this preseason, West was putting up solid running numbers.  And anyone who was delusional enough to think that Ben Tate was the next great running back just waiting in the shadow of Arian Foster, well, they deserve what they got if they drafted him.  With Tate hurt, West has shined in the last two weeks, and while it's still a committee backfield in Cleveland, he should eventually merit the bulk of the carries each game.  The only thing that can really stop him is if the coaching staff does something Cleveland-ish.

Dislike - Ryan Matthews, San Diego Chargers RB.  There are probably more significant fantasy disappointments to discuss, such as RG3's ankle, but since it's the beginning of the year, I need to say what nobody has seemed willing to say for the last 5 years: Ryan Matthews is not a great running back.  I'd hesitate to even call him good.  The year after LaDainian Tomlinson left the Chargers, Matthews was hailed a top-10 overall pick, despite not having much of a resume to back it up.  He was awful that season, and yet somehow, the geniuses in the fantasy football world ranked him in the top-10 again the next year! And guess what?  He was still pathetic!  While his projections seemed to have come back down to Earth the last few years, I was still surprised to see him listed as a top-15 running back in some player rankings this season.  Really?  You can't find 15 running backs that are better than Matthews?  If you're a Matthews fantasy owner, don't freak out too much over his knee injury - you weren't going to get much out of him anyways.  If you're lucky, maybe one of your fantasy colleagues will trade you a Jack-in-the-Box Midnight Munchie Meal for him. 

Pyrite - Percy Harvin, Seattle Seahawks WR.  At first, this may seem like a head-scratcher. I mean, he's averaging 9.5 fantasy points through the first two weeks - that's not bad, is it?  No, but remember, pyrite looks pretty, but it's not worth as much as the real thing.  My problem with Harvin is that he doesn't have a defined role, thus I doubt his ability to maintain big numbers week after week.  As a receiver, he's not the best route-runner or the surest of hands - he's just fast.  As a runner, he can't get large volumes of runs inside the tackles - he's used on sweeps and read options in hopes of finding open space to utilize his speed.  Last week's 9 point effort came on 50+ receiving yards and 40+ rushing.  By themselves, those would be terrible numbers for a wide receiver or running back respectively.  I don't think he'll get the number of touches every week to replicate that as well, as evidenced by his 3 touches on Sunday.  Had the referees correctly called him out of bounds on his 51-yard touchdown run, he probably would have had 3 points instead of 10.  Also this might be a little unfair, but he hasn't proven in recent years that his body can hold up through a 16-game schedule.
Is he a great weapon for the Seahawks?  Of course.  Worth having on a fantasy roster?  Absolutely.  But is he a WR2 (as currently ranked by Yahoo! Sports)?  If he's your second-best wide receiver in a draft that was supposed to be rich in wide receiver talent this year, you did something terribly wrong.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

My Positivity Challenge

So, I'm sure you all know about the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge floating around.  Around the same time, I noticed a smaller, but also very commendable challenge out there - The Positivity Challenge.  The concept is simple:


  • 5 days
  • 3 things you're thankful for each day
  • nominate 3 different people each day

A few weeks ago, my dear Mother nominated me.

I blacked out my Mother's nominator as I did not seek permission to post,
but my Mom, Dad and Wife have no choice!


I wanted to accept, but because I creep and troll on Facebook more than I actually post, I missed the boat.  I still think it's a great idea though, and I thought it was noble of her to nominate me, so I wanted to follow through.  Since there's no way I'll post 5 days in a row and find 15 total people I feel comfortable challenging (Mom nominated most of our immediate family), I thought I'd use this blog to blast out 15 things I'm thankful for all at once (I'm about due for a serious post anyways, as the last 2 were me ranting about pumpkins and my wife judging people who chase foul balls).

So here goes:


  1. Jesus Christ and the sacrifice He made so I can have the honor of following Him
  2. The Bible - more specifically, the privilege of having the very Word of God
  3. My wife - I don't know how I did the first 29 years of my life without her, but thankful I get to do the rest of it with her
  4. My family - wouldn't be where or who I am today without them
  5. My friends - for laughing with me, challenging me and being there for me
  6. My health - my body's not perfect, but I'm able to walk and breath, easily taken for granted
  7. My education - 3 great schools that taught me how to "do life"
  8. My job, especially one I genuinely enjoy going to each day
  9. Being in America - there's a lot to complain about, but it could be worse
  10. My daily bread - my wife and I have a roof over our head, clothes to wear, and we never miss a meal
  11. My Church - not just the one I attend now, but the ones I've been to in the past, and the collective Church worldwide
  12. Kung-Fu - it's shaped me, not only as a fighter, but even more so my character
  13. Coffee - admit it, you are too
  14. Fall - football, weather, pumpkins, beautiful leaves (when I'm up north)
  15. Jokes - I enjoy laughing, so I'm glad there's plenty of them

Now this is where I'm supposed to challenge someone, and I nominate you.  No, don't look over your shoulder, you read it right, I want you to think about what you're thankful for.  Not just for five days.  You don't have to make a list.  I don't want it to be some ambiguous ideal like "be thankful every day..."



So here's what I want you to do: between now and Thanksgiving, take some time to every now and again to think about what you're thankful for.  Talk to someone about it.  Say "thank you" when someone does something for you.  Then, when Thanksgiving rolls around, you won't be hard-pressed to name things you're thankful for (I'll admit, I had to think a little about 11-15).

Above all, let's make it a habit to be consciously thankful for what we have so we don't take them for granted.

Thanks Mom! 


Monday, September 1, 2014

'Tis the Season for Everything Pumpkin!

Happy Labor Day!  September marks a magical time of year.  This week marks the beginning of fall, practically speaking (kids are in school, so don't give me that equinox nonsense!).  For the next three months, the most famous of orange gourdes will permeate our restaurants, stores & beverages.  I'm talking about the pumpkin.  Or as Peanuts character Linus more aptly describes it, the Great Pumpkin.  Let's have a look:


When I first saw this as a kid, just like Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Lucy, I thought this kid was a real blockhead.  There's no "Great Pumpkin."  But years later, in my adulthood, I've come to learn there is a Great Pumpkin.  Not a person who delivers treats on Halloween, but rather a spirit and atmosphere that makes all our culinary endeavors extra delicious.  Make no mistake about it: if it were socially acceptable, I would consume pumpkin flavored products all year round.

I don't want to keep this magical flavor all to myself - it's too amazing not to share with the rest of the world.  For the next few moments, I'm going to do a thorough, but not exhaustive, rundown of pumpkin treats you can anticipate this fall.  Let's explore!

Out of the Pumpkin 


Before delving too deep into the deliciousness of pumpkins, I find it necessary to recognize the obtaining of pumpkin taste - pumpkin patches and pumpkin carving.  Those may sound like kiddie activities, but I think as long as I'm able to walk and deemed coherent enough to wield a sharp object, I envision myself at a ripe old age running through an open field of pumpkins, searching for the best one to take home, gouge open it's innards, and cut out a crude-looking picture on the exterior.  As you get older, don't take yourself so seriously that you can no longer enjoy these magical experiences.



From the inside of the pumpkin we the key ingredient for pumpkin pie filling - a staple of the fall.  Pumpkin pie is hands down the greatest pie ever made.  It has just the right blend of sweet and spicy.  It's texture is solid enough where you can take massive bites at a time, yet it's soft enough where you only need minimal chewing to swallow.  In short - it's amazing!  Buy it at your local grocery store.  Get it for dessert at restaurants.  If you don't have a slice on Thanksgiving - move to Russia!  And because everything's bigger in Texas, the state fair offers a deep-fried pumpkin pie.  I'll wait a moment for you to wipe the drool off your screen.  We also get pumpkin bread, which makes great fall comfort food.  If you make a batch at home, don't be afraid to throw a few chocolate chips in there!

And the seeds - don't throw away those seeds!  Hose down a baking sheet with an oily substance, lay out your seeds (after you wash them, of course), sprinkle on some salt, cinnamon or whatever else is laying on your spice rack, stick it in the oven that's been pre-heated to 300-400 degrees (it doesn't really matter, as long as it's hot) and leave it for approximately 15-18 minutes (feel free to flip seeds over at the halfway point, but again, probably doesn't make a big difference), and voila! You know have a delicious, high-sodium fall snack!  My wife might just "pin" that recipe verbatim.

Pumpkin Coffee


Disclaimer: when it comes to coffee, I like Dunkin Donuts (DD) much better for a variety of reasons - I would need a separate blog to explain why DD trumps Starbucks.  For now, I'll just try to celebrate what they both have in common: the goodness that is pumpkin.  But if you are a Starbucks fan, please forgive me in advance if I slip in a few jabs at the popular Seattle-based chain.

Starbucks made a big announcement a few weeks ago that they would release their Pumpkin Spice Latte in late August.  This is a delicious beverage, and while Starbucks is typically over-priced (even some of the most rabid fans would have to agree), it is definitely worth your time and money to make a trip to your nearest Starbucks (for the average American that's like .2 miles from home).  I also remember them offering a pumpkin bread, it wasn't the most amazing pumpkin bread I've ever had, but considering Starbucks pastries are terribly underwhelming, it's your best bet if you need to get food while at a Starbucks this fall.


However, the aforementioned "early" release of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte is bogus - Dunkin' Donuts has been releasing and expanding the variety of Pumpkin products around Labor Day weekend for years.  Dunkin freakin' Donuts is the capital of all things pumpkin.  First, they offer a pumpkin coffee (Starbucks will still be offering the Pike Place and Verona as the extent of their coffee varieties this fall).  You can get a beverage to drink on the spot or the ground coffee - but there is a difference.  The in-store offering is a pumpkin syrup in the regular coffee, whereas the grounds has an inherent pumpkin flavor.  Have no fear though, both are great!  I drink my coffee black, so I usually grab a bag of the pumpkin grounds to enjoy a smooth fall taste at home.  However, I have a sweet tooth, and pumpkin is magic, so the syrup option at a DD location is like a treat yourself moment!  They also offer the Pumpkin Latte, and it's very delicious.  I can honestly and objectively say I'm on the fence on whether it beats the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.  It's close, I could literally toss a coin.  But you can get 2 DD Pumpkin Lattes for the price of one at Starbucks, so if the taste is that close, I think price makes the vote for DD academic.

You may be thinking at this point, all this talk about Dunkin Donuts, but where's the donuts?  Slow down cowboy - Dunkin Donuts has not one, but two pumpkin donuts!  The first they've had for years - it's a glazed, cake texture with a strong pumpkin taste. But just when I thought the pumpkin donut had been perfected, last year they go and introduce the pumpkin pie donut.  The concept is similar to a boston creme, except the top is an icing with cinnamon-ish crumbles on top, and the inside has pumpkin pie filling. Pumpkin Pie filling in a donut.  It exists, and it's delicious.  Finally, there's the pumpkin muffin.  My go-to, year-round pastry at DD is more often than not their muffins. I make sure to grab the pumpkin muffins as many times as I can throughout the fall, because I know it will be a whole year before I can enjoy it's pumpkin crumbly goodness.  I should also probably mention the pumpkin bagel. Ok... you got me... the pumpkin bagel was disappointing.  I guess one bad option out of 300 bajillion is still good though. 

Frozen Pumpkins


Ice cream is available all year round, but pumpkin ice cream is a special frozen treat to be consumed once a year.  It all starts at your local grocery - get some pumpkin ice cream!   I can't recommend a particular brand.. just about all of them make it, some are better than others, but it's all good!

September usually introduces the Pumpkin Shake at Sonic.  I can't understand why they don't do a Pumpkin Blast, but we can always hope.  In the meantime, the Pumpkin Shake is good, but truth be told, I typically only get it once a year - definitely worthwhile though.



What you really want to mark your calendar for is the month of October when Dairy Queen releases the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard.  Unlike other pumpkin treats that are available all fall, this one is only open for a 31-day window... but it's worth it.  I think the exclusivity makes it taste even better.  Most Blizzard treats have chunks of the respective flavor in them, and the Pumpkin Pie Blizzard is no exception - there are actually  pumpkin pie pieces in it.  Let that settle for a minute.  Chunks of pumpkin pie frozen in pumpkin ice cream. Just stop reading this blog post and go pitch a tent in front of your local Dairy Queen now! (Actually, don't do that.  The lines aren't that long and supplies aren't that limited.  You probably have a job/school to go to.  And there's no bathroom in the tent.  And my ego needs you to continue reading and validate my self-esteem).

Pumpkin Breakfast


If you like pancakes, you need to visit IHOP at some point this fall for the pumpkin pancake.  The taste is just as fun as the alliteration seems to indicate.  When at your local grocer in the frozen section, keep an eye out for Eggo's pumpkin waffles.  It's worth having a box in your freezer when you want to break up the monotony of your morning breakfast.  For the same reason, get a box of the pumpkin Pop-Tarts.  Don't lecture me about how bad they are for you - 8 toaster pastries over a 3 month span won't kill you!


There's a lot of things to get excited about in fall: football, beautiful weather, foliage (at least for our friends up north), but do your taste buds a favor and make room for the delicious flavor of pumpkin!